Lost, Found, and Broken
by Bookworm1027
Summary: Edward has been in love with Bella since she moved to Forks,and everyone knows. But her. What happens when they take things to far one night? How will Edward live with the consequences? M for future lemons. Mostly EPOV. Please R&R! Canon Pairs. All Human
1. 1: Hookers, Whores, and Crushes

EPOV

Hookers, Whores, and Crushes

I turned the volume knob to the right, ignoring the protests below me to, as Emmett says, "turn that pansy shit down", while I studied my reflection in the mirror.

I'll admit, I'm an attractive young man. It would be ridiculous to say that I look…unappealing. My bronze hair is in constant disarray, my eyes are bright green, and I have a lean, yet toned body.

But don't be deceived; Edward Cullen is not simply "easy on the eyes" (Not my words). I actually have a personality. Moody and silently obsessive, but a personality none the lest. I'm intelligent enough to be accepted into several Ivy League schools, though I haven't decided which to attend yet. I am passionate in music—both listening and composing. I possess a sense of humor, and my family is sitting incredibly comfortable, financially speaking.

So one would think that being attractive, smart, passionate, rich, and yet still able to obtain the moral fiber I was raised with in tact would be enough to get a girl.

Obviously not.

Because if it was enough, Bella Swan would have been out with me last night, instead of that vile Jacob Black. She would be coming to this party with me, not him. If it was enough, she wouldn't even know Black.

If _I_ was enough, she'd love me. Not him.

Of course, I was jumping the gun a little by automatically assuming they were madly in love. Or even in like. Last night had been their first—and hopefully last—date.

She was too good for him. She was too good for anyone.

Especially myself.

Nevertheless, I wanted her.

I was selfish enough to love Bella, despite the fact I could never deserve that witty, charming, shy, brilliant, kind, and beautiful girl.

I was pulled out of my morbid musings by a high, trilling voice calling my name. I sighed and ran a quick hand through my hair, throwing on a dress shirt and walking down the stairs. "What Alice?" I asked quietly, still mopping.

The small girl ran up to me, her usually spiky black hair now curled delicately against her head and her fragile body covered by a tight red dress. She threw her hand out in font of her, using it as a stop sign. I halted immediately. Rule number one when living with Alice: stay out of her way. Always.

"What?" I asked sharply, feeling insulted.

She let her eyes roam over my outfit, appraising it for sweet sixteen party. Alice had been planning this party since she turned five, much to all of our dismay. Alice's frown quickly turned into an accepting smile as she told me in her high soprano, "You look nice." She was referring to my outfit, no doubt.

I rolled my eyes at her, giving my sister a playful smirk. "I learned from the best."

Alice ginned and smacked my arm playfully. "That you did." She agreed with me. "Bella will be here in a few minutes, so I need to go get her an outfit."

My heart leapt at the sound of Bella's name, though it shouldn't have. Alice was Bella's best friend of almost two years now, of course she would be showing up to the party early. That, and Alice seemed to think Bella needed help with her wardrobe.

I always thought she looked beautiful no matter what she wore.

Alice saw the spark in my easy and smiled knowingly at me, shaking her head incredulously. "I think you should just tell her how you feel. Kiss her; talk to her, do _something_, for god's sake. You are both being ridiculous."

I rolled my eyes at her again, less pleasantly this time. "No, Alice." I told her irritated, reacting to the word "both". Alice seemed convinced Bella loved me as I loved her, but if that was the case, why did she date others? I hadn't dated anyone since meeting Bella. No one else could compare.

Trying to distract myself again from such...depressing thoughts, I peered over my sister's small form to see a blonde, tall figure give me a kind and understanding grin. "Hello, Jasper." I greeted him.

"Hey, Edward."

Jasper had been a part of my family since the beginning of my freshman year, when Alice announced she was in love with a boy in _my_ class. Later, Emmett and I sat down and had a long…brotherly chat with Jasper about a _ninth_ grader dating our _eighth_ grade sister. In all honesty, we tried to hate him. But Jasper had such a relaxing quality about him, it made it impossible. In no time at all, he had become an important part of the "Cullen Clan".

"JAZZ!" A loud, booming voice echoed from the floor above us, the vibrations shaking the walls. All three of us laughed as Emmett came running down the stairs, beside me in less than a moment. For someone with such large muscles, he moved at an alarming pace. "Hey, I heard you come in." he explained breathlessly. "Is Rosalie here? Did she come with you?"

I couldn't help but roll my eyes at Emmett. He was ridiculously infatuated with Jasper's older sister, Rosalie, and never missed an opportunity to prove it.

Emmett saw my expression and immediately went on a defensive stance. "What, Eddie?" He sneered. I had started to walk down the stairs and away from him as he shouted after me, "Yeah, cause it's not like you've never had a crush, right?" Sarcasm dripped heavily from his words.

I spun on my heel, turning back to Jasper, Alice, and a superior looking Emmett. "I do not have a _crush_!" I spat at him.

Emmett rolled his eyes at me as Alice and Jasper laughed. "Oh, _right_. Because you _don't_ squeal like a little girl every time Bella's name is mentioned. And you _don't _apply to Newton's every other month so you can work next to her." I frowned. How did he know about that? My brother continued to rant. "And you volunteer to pick her up for school every day because you're _concerned_. Yeah, bro. _No_ crush there."

I was about to smack him with a witty retort when the doorbell rang and I was instantly gone. "I'll get it," I said a little too eagerly.

"Of course you will." Emmett threw after me.

I pointedly ignored him as I opened the door, perfection standing behind it.

Her hair was wind blown and her eyes blazed with excitement. Her face was flushed from the chill of the afternoon and painted across her cheekbones was the most gorgeous blush I'd ever seen. She smiled brightly at me and I couldn't help but smile back. "Hey, Edward. How are you?" She said, her sweet smell blowing in my face. I blinked rapidly a few time and swallowed nervously. It was utterly ridiculous that Bella was having such an effect on me. Or, rather, that she always had.

It took me a moment to realize she was waiting for an answer to her question. "I'm fine, Bella." I managed to choke out. I loved saying her name; truly, it was the sweetest sound I'd ever heard. "And you?"

"I'm great."

I fidgeted for a moment, trying to ease the awkward tension between us. To my relief, Alice appeared beside me like I'd called her.

"Bella!" She shouted in joy. Then she grabbed Bella's arm, roughly towing her inside. I followed behind them like a sad puppy, sticking my hands in my pockets and lowering my head shamefully. Could I obtain _any_ composure when she was around? Could I be anymore pathetic?

Both answers were a resounding _no._

Jasper greeted Bella politely—a smile and kind embrace—right before Emmett rushed down the remainder of stairs, picking Bella up in a tight hug, twirling her around like a five-year old. It was impossible _not_ to laugh at Emmett's big brother affections towards Bella.

"Emmett!" Bella squealed as she was not-so-gently lowered to the ground. He faced was flushing brighter than ever now, a large grin filling her magnificent face. I resisted the urge to touch her blazing cheek. "I didn't know you were home from college! How is everything going? Have you seen Rosalie around campus much? I hear football is go—Hey!"

Bella insistent—and adorable—rambling of questions was interrupted as Alice roughly took Bella's arm, pulling her up the large column of stairs with surprising amounts of force.

"Questions later." Alice directed in military format. I stifled a chuckled. It seemed that dating Jasper for so long had finally rubbed off on her. "Right now we have to get you into uniform." Uniform? Definitely Jasper's touch. She hauled Bella further along. "It's up on my bed. Come down when you're down. Hurry up!"

Bella scurried up the rest of the way, only tripping a few times, much to my amazement. Now, normally, I try my best to be the perfect gentleman around Bella.

Honestly.

But no straight man, no matter how courteous, would have been able to resist the view of Bella walking up the stairs in the most scandalous of ways. My jaw dropped slightly at the sight of Bella's gorgeous swaying hips.

Emmett's loud snickering yanked my violently from the view.

"_Right,_ Eddie. _No _crush at all." He muttered after Bella was out of sight. I glared at him, but didn't bother to dignify him with a response.

"Edward!" Alice said, rushing down and taking my hand, towing me into the transformed living room. She led me towards a tower stack of CD's, waving her hand towards them furiously. "I need you to go over these and pull out the good ones, kay?"

"Sure, Alice."

She then turned to Jasper and Emmett, directing them into doing the manual labor portion of the preparations.

I spent fifteen or so minutes looking through Alice music selections—most of which came from my room—and was pleasantly surprised to see that almost all of her choices were excellent. It seems my young sister _did_ listen to my ramblings after all.

All of a sudden a loud, piecing howl echoed from the entryway, causing me to rush on my feet and all but run to the sound of Bella's screech.

My thoughts became a blur of panic. Had Bella fallen? Was she hurt? God damn, why had Carlisle chosen to take Esme out for the weekend? What if we needed a doctor—?

OH LORD ALMIGHTY.

All of my thought stopped as if they had hit a brick wall and then knocked unconscious.

But, no. All it took was the vision of Bella.

Dressed like a succubus.

And, _god,_ was she tempting.

Suddenly I found myself hating Jacob Black more than I ever had. And _that _was certainly saying something.

She had on the shortest skirt on—black silk. Her deep scarlet top was so low it peaked at the loveliest hint of cleavage, making my moth practically water with desire. Her red leather boots went all the way up to her knees; I swallowed deeply. Her face was contorted in an expression of pure rage. Was it wrong of me to find her even more attractive when she was angry? All of my blood seemed to have rushed down to one particular organ, but I couldn't find it in myself to hide or feel ashamed.

I was too completely filled with lust to do more than drool at the moment.

Bella hadn't noticed me yet, too fixated on the room to her left. "Alice!" She yelled again, her voice raising an octave.

Alice, Jasper, and Emmett quickly entered the room, the later two's expressions going from shocked to lustful to more shock within seconds.

I knew the feeling.

"You look _great_ Bella! I knew that color would—"

"I look like a _hooker_, Alice!" Bella interrupted her, teeth gritted.

All four of us disagreed at the same time.

"No! You look amazing!"

"Very hot, Bella."

"Not at all!"

"What? No!"

"Besides," Emmett said, a wicked glint in his eye. "Don't you want to look hot for your boyfriend?"

Bella's entire face paled. I squeezed my fists, scowling deeply. "Boyfriend?" She squeaked out. "What boyfriend?"

"This Jacob Black I've heard so much about."

Bella blushed again, and I groaned inwardly. She _did_ like him. Damn it!

"He's not my boyfriend." Bella whispered quietly, her gaze looking at anything and everything other than our faces. Finally her eyes met mine—for only a brief second—and she flushed brightly again. "He isn't what I'm looking for," she answered at last.

My heart rejoiced, and then dropped again.

_I_ wasn't what she was looking for either.

A voice came from behind us, causing my head to swivel rapidly. "Who dressed Bella like a whore?" Rosalie asked, her blond hair falling to the side as she cocked her head curiously.

"Alice," we all answered simultaneously as my sister scowled.


	2. 2:First Time

EPOV

First Time

**I do not own anything. Literally. Even this computer I'm using right now is stolen the local best buy (just kidding. Seriously). Anyway, Twilight. Yeah, not mine. **

A drop of sweat fell from my neck, landing silently on the wooden floor beneath me as the lights hit my skin with searing heat. The music seemed to thunder directly in my ears, though I was rooms away from the stereo system.

_This _ was exactly why I didn't attend parties.

They were full of people whom I didn't converse with, music that was played too loud, and dancing that was really just an excuse for spastic movements and public sex. Needless to say, I wasn't exactly _enjoying_ myself.

If it weren't for Alice, I would have already fled the scene.

Well, Alice and the fact that Mike Newton was practically drooling over Bella like a slobbering golden retriever bringing a bone back to their owner. I already knew that Bella didn't have any romantic notions towards Newton—the boy's affects for her were a constant joke within our group—but Bella's civil politeness still urged my jealousy onward. He followed her around all night, pestering her with annoying small talk. I kept a close eye on them, but stayed at least a room away. After all, I was jealous, infatuated, and overprotective, not a stalker. At least, openly.

It was when Newton had corralled Bella next to the dance floor—still chatting aimlessly—that I was approached b the one person who annoyed me more than Newton.

"Edward," She cooed in her fake high pitched voice, leaning over to practically drape her body over mine. I cringed back, almost toppling over in the effort to avoid Jessica's unwanted affections. Normally she was flirtatious, but it seemed she had had a tad too much to drink and her advances were becoming bolder.

Delightful.

"Jessica," I said, nodding and taking a large step back.

She moved closer to me, wrapping an arm around my neck and using it as leverage to hoist herself up to my level. "You're not going to get something to drink?" She inquired. "Loosen up a little?"

_Like I would ever loosen up within a mile of this harpy. _"I don't drink." I answered tersely, pushing Jessica off me. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Newton place his hand at the small of Bella's back, forcing her against a wall. He pressed his body close to hers, whispering something into her ear. My vision shot red, pulsing through my body. My head whipped to the side automatically, searching for Bella's expression. If Bella wanted this—wanted _Newton_ after all—I wouldn't protest. But I knew Bella's expressions better than my own reflection, and she did _not_ look happy. She looked…uncomfortable and nervous.

That was enough reason for me. I pulled away from Jessica without waiting for a response and stormed over to them, putting a threatening hand on his shoulder. Both Newton and Bella looked up to me, shocked. Then suddenly a large smile appeared on Bella's face, radiating relief.

Newton, on the other hand, glared at me with pure contemp. The feeling was mutual.

"Bella," I said coolly, not taking my eyes off Newton, "I think Alice is looking for you in the kitchen."

Bella nodded and wiggled herself away from us, ducking into the kitchen door. I gave Newton one cold nod before walking into the hallway, planning to take a round-about route to join Bella. Just before I reached the kitchen door, however, Newton slammed me against the wall.

"Listen, Cullen, you need to _back off_." He whispered in a would-be menacing manner. "If you haven't told her yet, then you might as well let it go." He grinned smugly, pushing against my shoulders roughly. "Besides," he sneered, "Bella's out of your league."

Jasper and Emmett came out of the door then, anger in their strides. Apparently they knew something was happening and were planning to intercede.

I shook my head at them, silently saying that I wanted to handle it myself, and they stood back against the wall, where Newton couldn't see them. Without warning, I pushed against my attacker, throwing him so he was pinned instead.

"You right," I said loudly, spitting the words in Newton's scared face. "She is too good for me, but lets get one thing straight—if I'm out of her league then you're not worthy to scrape the dirt off her shoe. And by the way, I can assure you, that whatever little _crush_ you may have for Bella, it doesn't compare to the way I feel about her." I pulled away from Newton, turning towards the stairs. He wasn't worth any more effort.

"You just wanted get in her pants!"

I lunged myself backwards, throwing my fist against his face with what I hoped was enough force to break his jaw, and watched him slumped to the floor. Emmett and Jasper looked eager to throw a few punches themselves, but were kindly waiting until I was done. I bent down until I gazed directly into his worn eyes and said—each word solid in their finality, "I. Love. Her."

With that I moved away from him, thundering past an incredulous Emmett and Jasper, and climbed the stairs. Within seconds I had securely locked myself in my room.

I hated when people simply assumed that my attraction for Bella was simply sexual. I admit, yes a respectable portion _was_ sexual, but not all. I loved Bella's laugh and her mind and… _everything._

A small knock sounded at my door, interrupting my inner mind from gazing at Bella. I grabbed the pillow next to me, throwing on my head in exasperation. "_Alice"_ I groaned, exasperated. I should have known my little sister would be the first one up here, begging for inside information about my short tussle with Newton.

Simply _perfect_.

Then a soft, bell-like voice came from the other side of that barrier and I almost fell out of my bed in shock. "It's not Alice," she said.

I managed—without much success—to smoothly get up and answer the door. As I did, I was having a panic attack. Why was Bella coming to _my room_?

Then it hit me.

Bella, dressed as a seductress, was coming within a four foot perimeter of my bed.

Shit.

I couldn't help the vivid and…hormonal, visions that swarmed in my mind, telling my not to 'pass up the opportunity'.

No.

Bella disserved better than me.

I took a deep breath and then opened the door.

Nothing—and I mean _nothing_—could have prepared me for what happened next.

Bella, in all her glory, stared at me with a look of pure determination, and then launched her glorious body at me.

He lips meshed deliciously with mine as the rest of her body followed. I reacted instinctively as we began to fall together and wrapped my arms around her delicate waist before I finally realized what was happing.

_Bella_ was kissing _me_, and I was sitting here like a moron, completely unresponsive.

Well _that _wouldn't do.

As soon as this crossed my mind, I pushed my lips hard against hers, hoping to god I wasn't doing terrible at this. I hesitantly let my tongue sweep out, testing Bella's bottom lip.

Nothing in the entire world tasted as divine as Bella. Not cinnamon rolls fresh out of the oven or the fudge that you have to import from Belgium just to get right. Nothing.

When Bella finally pulled away for air, I thought about what I wanted to say.

Now, I'd imagined kissing Bella over and over and over and…well, you get the idea—and after that first kiss I would always—hypothetically—say something charming and suave. Something that made her fall head over heels as much as me.

But, of course, I didn't follow plan. The first words that came out of my mouth after I stopped gasping for air were "Have you been drinking?"

Bella—her face wonderfully close to mine—giggled lightly before shaking her head. "No," she said with a hint of amusement. "I've never felt more sober in my life."

That, I quickly decided, was good enough for me.

I bent back down, capturing Bella's lips in a hot, bone-melting kiss. I hoped with all I was that she was enjoying this—that I was being enough for her. One of my hands went up to the back of Bella's head, taking her luscious locks in my hand, intertwining it between my fingers and feeling the beautiful softness.

I tried to properly describe the sensations Bella's mouth and hands and neck were causing to me—besides the sexual way, of course—and I couldn't come up with a word that captured the full intensity this moment held for me.

Just _amazing._

I wasn't aware of it happing at first, too absorbed in what Bella's sinful tongue was doing to me –_where had she learned to do _that_?—_that I didn't notice we had been moving towards my bed until the mattress hit the back of my legs. I pulled away from Bella at once, searching her eyes for the answers I needed.

Her brown depths showed no hesitation, no fear; only lust and...happiness.

I smiled brightly, flipping our positions and gently pushed Bella back onto the bed.

I climbed up with her until I was almost straddling her waist. I let my eyes rank over Bella's barely clothed form, taking in every inch on the pure magnificence. I wanted to say something to her, to tell her how much I loved her.

But what if, even now, she didn't love me back?

"Edward." Bella whispered, her eyes locking on mine as she lay beneath me. She blushed heavily and I barely held back a groan. "I want this." She said seriously. Her hands grasped my face, as if to hold me with her. I smiled at the thought. Where else would go? "I want _you_. I know it's going to hurt. I just…I just," her fingers stroked my cheeks gently; "I just need tonight."

I nodded again, at a complete loss for words.

I lowered myself off the bed, my face level with the hells of Bella's boots. I took each one off slowly savoring the moment to kiss the inside of each ankle. Every part of Bella's skin was lovely, every part was beautiful.

I moved upwards, letting my fingers linger on their journey, and gripped the hem of her skirt and looking up to meet her amber orbs. Bella nodded once—as permission. I gently pulled down the offending material, reveling a set of lacy blue undergarments.

_Oh God,_ I mentally groaned, _not blue. Anything but blue. _

I pushed myself up further, hovering directly above Bella. One of my hands rested her next to her head, holding my weight off her delicate frame while the other reached for the bottom of her shirt. Bella gave me permission once more.

_Holy Hell. _

Bella was directly beneath me, now in nothing but a matching set of l_acy blue lingerie._ Once again, _Holy. Hell. _

This can't be real. This _can't _be real.

I must have been staring at the sight of Bella's covered chest for a bit too long because she suddenly began to cover herself with her arms. I rapidly pinned her arms down, shaking my head in protest. Bella—the embodiment of pure beauty—should never feel insecure about herself.

"No Bella," I said, perhaps sounding too much like an order. "You're beautiful. So much." _Wow, Cullen._ I told myself sarcastically, _Good job. That was almost a complete sentence._

"There not really my taste," Bella mumbled, embarrassed, as a lovely blush began to form on her cheeks. "Alice's idea."

_Thank You, Alice._

Bella's hands came up to wrap around my neck, pulling my lips down to meet hers with a fiery passion. I felt the heat go all the way down to my toes. I was panting by the time we broke apart.

"Edward ," Bella half gasped, half moaned. Officially, that was my most favorite sound in the world. "Clothes. Off. _Now_."

_Damn. _

Bella's hands went to my shirt at the same instant mine went to the belt buckle. I Within a second, I was left in nothing but my boxers. In my haste to remove my jeans, I had failed to notice Bella had removed her bra. I swallowed at the sight of her bare torso, my thoughts spinning into oblivion.

I was beginning to grow nervous. Although I had heard and read up on the subject of sex, I really didn't _know_ anything about it. And I wanted to please Bella. To please her more than anything.

All too soon we were kissing again, more deeply than ever before. The last of our clothing hit the floor, and then our bodies were fused together, becoming one.

My nerves seemed to disappear at once. I knew want I was doing. This was all instinct.

It ended when Bella called out my name—her voice miles seeming miles away—and together we finished in a huge, blissful explosion of white.

We lay side by side, our breathing heavy and loud. By the time I looked over to Bella to tell her what that meant to me, how much I loved her, she was asleep. My male ego grew slightly, proud that I could exhaust her so thoroughly.

Wrapping an arm around Bella's waist and pulling up the covers, and resting my head in the crook of her should. I inhaled deeply, the scent of Bella's lavender skin acting like a lullaby.

_Good night, Bella._ I called to her, silently. _I love you. _


End file.
